Assalamualaikum and hi.
I don't know if you already knew this.. so I'm gonna write about it again. All these years of studying, from matriculation college to Bachelor's degree, pursuing Master's degree and taking an Advanced Diploma - it was a very long and tough journey for an average student like me. I knew it was difficult from the start but somehow I still torture my brain studying. I've actually like studying despite my roller coaster grades.
I just study and study, didn't even care to put a a single working experience in between my degrees in the resumes, (well except the one and only internship during Bachelor's degree and as sonographer trainee during Advanced Diploma), and out of sudden I'm not studying anymore, I've graduated and actually landed a job as a sonographer. I mean, Alhamdulillah for this job but do you get me???
All I did was studying and now I'm not studying anymore. I have a job now. I am an adult now, paying bills, study loans, etc etc! Yes, it's my responsibility, and no, I'm not whining. I'm just... this is like, a different version of happiness? I don't have to worry about assignments, quizzes and examinations anymore. All these free time after office hours – they're actually for me, to do anything?! I used to feel guilty for watching dramas and play games during my free time and now – I don't have to????
I mean I LOVE studying, but hey, this new phase of life, I LOVE IT TOO!
And um. Yeah I love it yada yada but.. I'm still grieving over Abah's passing. Life feels empty without him. Abah can't pick up my call anymore whenever I need to hear his voice. I literally spend my free time 10% watching Korean drama, 10% playing games, 30% working out, 50% crying in the parking lot under my apartment building. Yeah.
This is a reminder for everyone: create many memories with your loved one AND please record them. It hurts when you slowly forget their voice. I have a very short voice note from Abah and it wasn't really a memorable one hahaha.. it was just him sending voice note to the group complaining about waiting too long for Mama (she was in the queue during regional election). Haha. Sure, it was cute as he was not angry or anything, just complaining hehe. And that's it, no other voice notes. I used to record him reciting the Quran but I can't find them anywhere.
Anyway.. where was I? Huh. Yeah, life. Adulthood. Tetiba jadi cerita sedih hahaha. What is wrong with me? I don't know 😂 Bye.
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